Shiva? But it's not cold....

So wow... three posts, three days in a row. Weird huh? :)

Well I promised to tell you all what happened at the shiva back in march and so I shall. This will also set up background for MORE of "as long island turns."

For some further back story - you might want to go and read the first big post i made on here... all about a wedding. :) My cousin and the Suka.

So we all head up to NY on saturday (from the DE and MD areas.) ANd check into the hotel. And we of course go out to dinner to one of our old favorite italian restaurants. Now the Suka is pregnant yet again. to add to the Politics of the situation, cousin's Sister (P) has been trying for years to get pregnant again, and is unable to after thousands of $$ of treatments. So when we were at my aunt's house saturday evening, the "fun" began. The Suka apparently started in with "so how much did YOUR bellini furniture cost. Oh, only $1700. Mine cost $5000!" and going on and on about the baby. The woman at this point is all of 4 months pregnant. Looks like she swallowed a pea. But she is walking around the house arching her back and sticking her belly out, hand on back, hand on belly to show how Pregnant she is. she complains about all the swelling problems and how tired she is. (sleeps til noon then goes back to bed at 830) basically playing it to the hilt. She even has a PHOTO album, for her sonograms, which she is getting every 2 weeks because of the previous miscarriage.

So the next morning we all meet at my grandmother's house for the funeral. Once again, she is exagerating things. However, my mother (gods bless her {grin}) remembered an old jewish superstition that if you are pregnant you shouldn't go to a funeral or the baby might get "the evil eye" or something along those lines. So she didn't come to the funeral which is good. Especially as my grandmother hated her. The Shiva officially started when we got back.

The days were pretty much the same, mom and I would beat the hotel, get up - start to work form the hotel room for a couple of hours, get breakfast, and show up there around lunch time. Where we'd make do with whatever food we could find there that we could eat. Then dinner we'd leave get our own meal at our favorite italian place ;) and then go back for the evening. The food is problematic... catered kosher food is horrible. It's incredibly salty, doesn't taste very good, and tends to do real numbers on our stomachs. MOm and I have some dietary issues. At the time I was being tested for Celiac so we were trying to keep the wheat levels down. (and before you ask, the italian place we had chicken and soup, no pasta.) But b/c of these dietary issues, we were the butt of much criticism and commentary. People who supposedly loved us, did nothing but insinuate and make cracks about the problems. (I did find out i'm not Celiac, but my mother and I both - mom worse than I - have a Wheat intolerance. Can only handle certain levels and certain types within reason.) THey would literally gang up.

The suka spent her time doing the "ugh, i'm too pregnant" routine. Wouldn't even hold her dog properly, just carried her around like a foot ball.. couldn't carry in front cuz she was TOO pregnant.

Basically - the way this all has ended is in a familial split. The folks who are in NY and the folks who aren't. Those who aren't are my immediate family and P's family. Apparently we are pariahs. There were any number of guilt trips they laid on us for no longer living in NY. the "oy you don't know how it is! you haven't been here..." etc.

The jockying for financial position began the DAY OF THE FUNERAL! family members would pull the executor to the side and try to set up position not 2 HOURS after she was buried. absolutely ridiculous!

A friend of mine said... "Nothing tears a family part worse then death and an estate to divide up. . . ." Greed rears it's ugly head.

more stories to come. . . .