Monday, June 20, 2005

Ahhh... weddings...

Last week, I went to my cousin's wedding. It was an interesting wedding to say the least. I wasn't going to go. Going someplace 3 hours away for a one day trip, for an afternoon "rushed" wedding was not my idea of fun. But there were so many little factors, I felt I should go if only to support my poor Aunt who was throwing the wedding in the first place.

So - Cast of Characters and then some backstory.
Suka (The Bride) (as you can tell i'm hiding names to protect the *AHEM* innocent. Suka in Russian means B*TCH)
Rebound (The Groom)
MG (Mother of the Groom)

So - The backstory.

Part 1 - Rebound:
Rebound lives in the city in a very nice and expensive apartment. To defer costs - he got a roommate. His roommate was a very self assured and nice lady. Rebound is a 30 year old emotionally immature likely virgin. He is in LOVE with his roommate (or at least Lust of some sort.) And he wants her. She of course wants nothing to do with her. But he has hopes. Until of course she starts bringing home the wealthy successful boyfriends. Once she starts dating others, the roommate situation ended. Thus the rebounding begins. Rebound is the type of guy who worships money and has a *ahem* scheme always cooking to make some. Somehow he *SEEMS* to have managed to make a decent living lately. Don't know the details on that, but he LOOKS like a good catch i guess for some people.

So Rebound is talking to a client on the phone who tells him she is going to the city in a few days. He asks where, and she mentions to visit her daughter who lives at such and such address. Funny says Rebound, I live a block away. Is your daughter single? And thus Rebound and Suka meet. Suka is in her early 20's. She sees successful jewish male and says "AHA!! my prize! i will marry this man and be a kept wife." (this is all hearsay of course *grin*)

So the dating begins. Within about 2 months, she is pestering him about having sex. She says to him "why won't you show me that you love me, i don't understand!" (Talk about ROLE reversal!) So of course he gives in, hence the rushed wedding.

Part 2: Passover
I won't go into much here - but needless to say tempers fly, parents are upset, Suka is calling for all attention possible. Causing dissention and pain wherever she goes. Insults Rebound's family all over the place. Rebound of course is completed WHIPPED and so defends Suka at every opportunity with no consideration as to after affects on his family. (hmm 2 months - vs. 30 years talk about loyalty issues)

Part 3: Wedding Plans
we need to get married!!! 6 weeks is the deadline set.
Wedding #1 - Get married in the Rabbi's office. Small immediate family lunch. The End.
Wedding #2 - 150 person Orthodox wedding, with Fancy Expensive Evening reception paid for by the Groom's mother because the Suka doesn't get along with her own parents and can manipulate Aunt into paying for it even though she doesn't have the money. But there are complaints so back to wedding #1.
Wedding#3 - (actual) becomes a midweek afternoon luncheon for about 50 people.
So we're in the small chapel at the temple. And she starts walking down the aisle. She wore this dress (which we thought she got at a charitable donation consignment shop so she could get designer for cheap but now found out had *shudder* custom made.)
(no faces are used to protect the *ahem* innocent. *Grin*)
Notice the hand on hip posture... man does she figure she have this won.

So anyway - the wedding progresses - relatively short (thankfully) and we all migrate to the golf club for lunch.
For this reception - there was 1 photogrpaher, 1 a**hole posing the pictures, 1 videographer, and 1 lounge singer keyboard player who was supposedly a friend of the family and did the music for 3 hours for the wonderfully DISCOUNTED price of $1000.

They danced their first dance to "when you wish upon a star" oh yeeaaaahhhh (lounge version)

There was a lounge act Horah.

Lunch - well- let's just say - I refunded lunch later in the evening. (messed me up the whole damned weekend too)

The BIG smile on her face as she collected envelopes from her friends was classic. And she was smiling and laughing the entire wedding... She was awfully happy. Like the proverbial cat that ate the cannary.

There's more to tell but this post is long enough - as I think of it i'll post more, but this should be enough to get you all chomping at the bit. :)

Friday, January 28, 2005


what you go through to post on someone else's blog; :) I tried to do it anonymously but the posts never showed up so what the hell here I am.... anyway i'm pretty bored at work at this point so may as well do something right?